TURN ON YOUR LIFE WITH…
Internal Family Systems Therapy
Uncover the power within to manage stress, overcome trauma and build healthier relationships.
TURN ON YOUR LIFE WITH…
Internal Family Systems Therapy
Uncover the power within to manage stress, overcome trauma and build healthier relationships.
30-Minutes to clarity.
If you’re in confusion or emotional pain then book a free clarity session with me. You can explore how therapy and mindset tools can help you heal or reach your important goals.
Understanding Internal Family Systems Therapy
Internal Family Systems (IFS) Therapy is a groundbreaking approach that views the mind as a complex system of parts, each with its own agenda for life and safety. This therapeutic method helps individuals thrive by fostering a compassionate relationship with parts that feel and behave in ways that interfere with well-being, love and success. The goal of IFS is to free the real SELF and allow it to unblend from wounded and protective parts that are obscuring it. IFS promotes lasting change and personal growth by addressing the root causes of emotional distress.
THERAPY HAS CHANGED…AND SO WILL YOU
You Can Build A Roadmap To Self-Power with Internal Family Systems Therapy (IFS).
Many therapeutic approaches recognise that we are made up of different parts, and this idea is known as ‘multiplicity of self. It’s how the brain stores information in different neural pathways, each with separate memories, experiences, images and beliefs – and it’s backed by research and neuroscience. These ‘parts’ are known by various names in other therapies; schemas, ego-states and subpersonalities to name a few.
IFS sees our internal system as being made up of three broad groups: exiles, managers and firefighters. Both managers and firefighters are ‘protectors’ of our wounded parts, referred to as ‘exiles’. These exiles are locked away or ‘compartmentalised’ for safety and to prevent overwhelm.
There is an underlying assumption in IFS that every part has a positive intention, no matter how desperate or extreme a part may become.
The idea of having different parts of the personality is not new to us. If you think about it, it can often feel like you’re at war with yourself – different parts can appear to want different things, One part might be lonely, another part is scared to connect. One part tells you you’re good, another criticizes your every move. One part wants success, while another procrastinates. One part wants a relationship to work, another acts defensive or angry.
Unless we have a way of meeting the needs of this ‘Internal Family System’ (IFS) – as we call it – we will be stuck in painful feelings, severe limitations and negative relationship patterns.
It’s natural to have conflicting desires or mixed feelings about things – we all do, but when the gridlock is overwhelming, it’s a sign that some of our ‘parts’ need integrating. Getting in touch with your real SELF-energy and getting calm is what I help you develop first. From there you will be able to retrieve and heal stuck parts and restore a sense of wholeness and confidence that allows you to feel fully alive.
Let’s take a look at the role of the parts in your system. It’s a really insightful and fascinating journey through your inner landscape!
THE CARRIERS OF TRAUMA & BURDENS
Exiled Parts
Exiles: are the parts that have been rejected, shamed, hurt, frightened or abandoned by external relationships or life events. They are then subjected to inner judgement and criticism from other parts of the internal system. They are frozen in time and exiled to stop their pain from causing trouble.
Richard Swartz, the founder of IFS describes the problem with keeping burdened exiles at bay,
‘Exiles, like any oppressed group, grow extreme over time. As they look for opportunities to break out of prison and tell their stories, their desperation and neediness become ever more of a hazard. They may dull and weigh the body, mind, and heart with their chronic unarticulated misery, or they can overwhelm emotionally with flashbacks, nightmares, and sudden fleeting tastes of pain, fear, and shame that cause protectors (Managers and Firefighters), to panic and overreact. Like the abandoned children they are, exiles want care and love.’
PREDICT & PREVENT
The Manager Role
Our internal managers are proactive and take on the role of keeping exiles out of sight. They have a zero-tolerance policy on fear, shame or emotional pain and keep your vulnerable parts locked up for their own protection and the protection of the entire system, because they don’t want feelings spilling over and causing issues.
To managers, injured parts are defective, weak, threatening, and pitiful, and managers will do anything to keep them locked up, and avoid situations where an exile’s pain might be triggered.
Often managers will force you into roles in an attempt to keep ‘perceived’ threats at bay, including that of the worrier, perfectionist, pleaser, caretaker or dependent victim.
Manager parts are often exhausted but feel they alone are burdened with doing the job of keeping you safe in the world or approved of/accepted/loved by external people.
They can be very hard to like when they take on extreme roles of protection, especially when their strategies for keeping your social face ‘perfect’ are confining, critical and shaming. However, their criticism has a good intention. It may be that if you were harshly criticised when young, so the critical manager developed to whip you into shape before you could be abandoned or rejected by a caregiver vital for survival.
The aim of IFS therapy is to bring compassion to these managers who don’t know any better and have limited tools to help you. With Self-led energy you can make space for them to take on healthier roles in the system. They are indeed amazing planners with a lot of social intelligence!
REACT & DISTRACT
The Firefighter Role
When the managers’ prevention strategies fail, and the exiled pain escapes, the firefighters of the system kick in. Their main approach is reactive, as if they are dealing with an emergency (which to them they are).
Their main focus is to numb the pain that is bubbling up and they do this with any method that helps douse the flames, e.g., addictions, binging, scrolling, zoning out, cutting, sleeping or obsessive spending are just some techniques. Even going into a rage is a firefighter’s attempt at empowerment of an overwhelmed system.
Like managers, firefighters are not always popular because they can be destructive to health, goals and relationships. However, their intentions are positive and they really are just trying to help, even though in their extreme roles, their tactics can be counter-productive.
When healing and integration occurs, the firefighters can take on more positive roles such as self-soothing in more healthy ways.
Access a gentle, but powerful approach to moving through
The Unblended Self As Leader Of Your System
The aim of IFS is to help the real Self emerge and unblend from parts.
In IFS, the ‘Self’ represents the core of an individual’s identity. It is characterised by a sense of calm, aware presence, and once accessed, acts as a compassionate leader to manage parts of the internal system. It is whole and unwounded and still intact despite any exiles or protectors that emerged throughout life. The Self is identified, but not limited to the 8Cs:
- Curiosity
Approaches various parts with an open and inquisitive mindset. it encourages exploration without judgment, leading to deeper self-understanding.
- Calmness
Represents a state of inner peace that helps in regulating emotions, providing a safe space for parts to express themselves without fear.
- Compassion
Offers unconditional love and support to all parts, recognises their struggles and fosters healing by validating parts’ experiences and needs. Compassion also extend to the external world.
- Clarity
Possesses a clear perspective, enabling effective communication between parts. It can discern clear messages from, and between, parts of the inner system.
- Confidence
Embodies self-assurance and trust in one’s ability to handle life’s challenges, enabling the individual to assertively navigate relationships and personal issues.
- Courage
Encourages individuals to face difficult emotions and experiences, promoting resilience and personal growth.
- Connectedness
Nurtures relationships with other parts and external relationships. It highlights the importance of connection, both internally and with others in the environment.
- Creativity
Finds new ways to give the parts exactly what the need to unburden, change, heal and assume new roles in the system.
Other qualities include kindness, gratitude and unconditional love, and the ‘5Ps’ of perspective, patience, playfulness, presence and persistence.
An Integrated Approach
Relaxation & Resilience
Re-train the nervous system into a relaxed state with mindfulness and other tools such as self-hypnosis.
Confidence Building & Relationships
Help the confident Self emerge, build self-belief, courage, connectedness and love.
Trauma Healing
Address and heal past traumas through compassionate self-exploration and understanding.
Future Making
Create the future you want to arrive into, with powerful mind strategies and Self-led goals and dreams.
What IFS Clients Say
“Internal Family Systems Therapy with Linda has been life-changing. I have found a new sense of peace and understanding within myself.”
“Other forms of therapy didn’t work for me. With IFS, I’ve managed to overcome deep-seated trauma and now feel fully alive, probably for the first time.”
“I did the weekend retreat with Linda and I couldn’t have imagined the difference I would feel. With IFS I released burdens I had carried for years and some I didn’t even know I was carrying. My relationship is back on track and I have exciting new goals for my life.”
“It was hard to find an Internal Family Systems therapist due to the demand for this type of therapy. Through IFS, I have discovered parts of myself I never knew existed. This journey has been incredibly rewarding.”
“I wanted to give Internal Family Systems a try as heard so many good things about it. IFS therapy has been instrumental in my recovery from emotional burnout. I feel rejuvenated and went on to receive a promotion at work due to being so much more confident in myself.”
Begin Your Journey Today
Are you ready to shed your long carried burdens? Take the first step towards an internal journey of astonishing discovery with IFS.
